Looking Back

Sarahboparah - Looking Back.

Heart is sea, 
language is shore. 
Whatever sea includes, 
will hit the shore.

– Rumi

Happy 2019 and my very best wishes to you and yours! I hope your holiday season was wonderful and everything you hoped it to be.

Looking back upon it now, 2018 turned out to be quite the year — one which unpredictably and heavily fluctuated between highs and lows. It proved to be a tough challenge to wade through its murky waters, and if I’m honest, I’m not even sure I’ve fully reached the shore yet. And while I hope to find the courage to one day share the reasons behind my spotty presence online in the last year, I’m currently not ready to.

That said, I’m happy to leave 2018 in the dust and I’m hopeful that 2019 will bring about many positive changes. In the ten days since it announced its presence, I have to say it’s not failed me yet. The nasty cold I brought with me into the new year is finally on retreat; I turned down a promotion and allowed my contract at work to come to a natural close; a friend has just announced her pregnancy; and the almost-crippling tiredness that has been dominating my body for the last six months is finally showing signs of slowing down. In many ways, things are looking up.

Reflecting on the past year, I realise that some of the goals I had set for myself didn’t come to fruition. While I’m normally a go-getter, I’m actually more than alright with that fact, because the absence of chasing completion left me with enough room to breathe in deeply, and to allow me to hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.

With 2018 left behind me, I find myself looking ahead and thinking of the many things I want to be achieving. I’m still trying to figure out where the cogs are, and how to exactly place them to get the wheels back to spinning in full-motion, but I’m looking forward to sharing a few of my small goals for 2019 in the next post.

For now, I wanted to close by thanking you for your support and your unfailingly kind messages over the last few months. They truly mean the world to me ♥


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